Paige's Deep Thoughts
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Monday, October 23, 2006
Can you say... "Hiatus" ?
It's been a while since I've done the whole "blogging" thing. I've been questioned by several people if I'm leaving this world behind...my answer is no. I needed a small, couple month long, hiatus.

My rational for my several month hiatus... my world crashed down around me.

I'll explain. (This is a long one and may require coffee. Go, now. I'll still be here.)

When my husband and I decided we would get married I was working at Walgreens, a drug store. I was working in a 'bad' part of town. The decision was made that I should quit that job after a phone call one night going something like, "Hi, um..Tim... Can you come get me from work? No, no my car is fine. Why do you need to come get me then? Well, I think there's a car load of guys outside waiting on me to come out. Why do I think that? Well, um...they may have come inside and asked what time I got off and if I liked to party. No, I didn't tell them YES!! They just took it upon themselves to wait on me to get off work. I don't know what they want. Well, ...well, yea...I guess I know what they want. That's why you should come get me. If you don't the manager is going to call the cops. What's that noise? Yea, that's them yelling from the door. Yea, yea they said that. No, no don't bring the baseball bat."

My husband managed to find me a "student worker" position at his place of employment in one of the departments he covered. It was great for a while. We could ride to work together, go to lunch together, I could leave for school, I had the weekends off, we were both making good money. Life was good. We got married and it was all sunshine and roses.

Then my husband was fired for sexual harrassment 6 months after we were married. WOW! And they say the first year is hard...what do 'they' know?!! (My husband blatently denies, even to this day, of his guilt in the situation.) I was working in the same department as my husband. Never a good idea. Even more horrible idea when your spouse is fired from said department. I had a choice to make. Do I continue working in this horrible situation? My answer was yes. I loved my job, I loved my coworkers, I loved the money, I loved the freedom, and I truly loved learning about my job. So, I stayed. I worked out a deal with my boss that I could finish school, do my student teaching and work on the weekends, and continue on in a full time position after I finished my student teaching and graduated school. Wonderful! Everything was working out perfectly. I would have a degree, I would have a job directly, and I would have money while my husband was unemployed and I was student teaching. GREAT!

Yea, theories are fantastic. Turns out I'm a horrible teacher. Student teaching was hell. I was placed in one of the worst schools in the county for my first assignment and was literally younger than some of my students I was teaching. I was working my ass off 10 or 12 hours a day only to come home do to lesson plans and assignments for the class I was taking along with my student teaching. Then the weekend would come. I would thank god that the week was finially over and I could rest and regain my sainity only to realize that I had to be at work, the work that actually gave me a pay check and offered bennefits...as oppose to student teaching, which I had to pay for. So, for five months I did this. Needless to say by the time it was over I was 50 pounds lighter, sick as a dog, and dead tired. BUT, I still had my job and I was excited about that. I could wait to go full time at my 'real' job and make a difference somewhere.

Student teaching finished, my husband found a job, and I went full time and graduated. Life was good again! I progressed at work, went to inservices, took on more duties and was so excited about my life and the path it was taking.

Then it all went to shit. My coworkers started meetings to which I wasn't invited. Some of my duties were revolked. I was reduced to secretarial work. I caught obnoxious comments around every corner. No explanation, no conversation, no warning. I went from exceptionally happy to miserable in the matter of a month. Here's where I should have gotten a clue and turned in my notice. I, however, was still under the impression that no matter what, even if I had to leave my place of employment, I still loved what I did and wanted to do that for the rest of my life.

Then I was fired.

Then I was bitter.

Then my car died. (Not really of any meaning, except that it was my FIRST car and I have severe emotional attatchment issues to inanimate objects.)

So, here I am. Jobless. Directionless. Aimlessly searching for my next venture. I have a degree in Education, which I don't need to use. I have three years experience in the Cancer field and no desire to continue on with that. AND...last but not least...I have an English degree. I don't EVEN know what that's good for.

My perfect situation, that I "fell" into, turned from a rose bush to just thorns. 3 years wasted. All the plans for advancement in my field, gone. Now, I have no field. I'm as free as a leaf in the wind and I hate it.

My answer to the situation... Let's Move!

My husband, in his quest for greatness, would like to get his MBA. So, we have the choice of moving further south, Tuscalusa, or moving back to Tennessee, UTK. I vote TN! We're headed to Knoxville. Just as soon as my husband can find a job there. He's been looking for a month. 5 weeks. 5 weeks, 30 applications, 5 he's heard back from. Let's hope that the "no news is good news" is key here. Hopefully in the next week he'll hear about some interviews.

I'm ready to start over. I'm ready to lose everything to have everything. Let's lose the job, the career, the car, the house, the town. Fresh start. Hopefully a better start.




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