Paige's Deep Thoughts
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Friday, April 28, 2006
Fighting...for peace!
Last night my husband and I HAD. IT. OUT. in the middle of the living room while folding clothes. OVER LAUNDRY or areas vs. spot. anyways.


IT STARTED like this: (while folding clothes)
I said "you didn't do anything while I was gone!"
He said "I cleaned the carpet."
"It looks like you didn't even vacuum."
"Well, I didn't where you're standing. I did all that over there by the kitchen table."
"That's like a 4ft by 2ft spot of carpet. I didn't realize you had just done a spot."
"That's not a spot! That's an AREA! You couldn't use a "spot rug" there. It would HAVE TO BE an AREA RUG!"
"Oh my god! Are you serious?"
"Why do you always di-min-u-ize everything I do?"
"di min u ize, is that even a word" (I knew it wasn't a word. )
"yes, it's my word... why can't you admit that's an area?"
"Because the carpet cleaner is sitting on top of the "area" and I couldn't see it"
"You're always di min u izing what I do. You always say I never do anything."
"You don't!" (He does. He does dishes. BUT he broke the dishwasher while I was gone. And the carpet cleaner, which is why it was still in the living room. )
"I'm inherently lazy, what do you want from me"
"I want to be lazy."
"You can't be, I already have that role."
"You're kidding me! I WANT THAT role!"
"Sorry. It's taken!"
"Oh my god! Go look up di min u ize"
"ok, it's not a word" (he knew it wasn't a word)
"let's go play with the dog"
"alright"


Thursday, April 27, 2006
Totally need to actually be working...

I need to be working, but I just keep stumbling onto stuff like
this and like this. I love stuff like that. So if you know of anything else that goes along with stuff like that, then send it my way.


Now, I just need some money. Oh crap! I forgot I was poor. DANG!
(Hmmm.....maybe I can copy it and get something cheap from the dollar store. lol ORRRRRrrrr better yet... maybe I can make something.)

My next project:
Aren't these cool. They're painted on plywood so they look really textured. I can't wait to try this!

Now, I just need to learn to use a skill saw.


(This is from Sandestin, there were little shops down the path from the rooms we stayed in.)


I <3 vacations!
Can I go back to the Sandestin please? I said PLEASE!

Uhg!


On a lighter note, my husband has SWORN OFF black socks.
He has a job interview this morning and was dressed to the nines. He has his little suit on with a pretty silver shirt and a black tie which looks very business like and quite professional. (The suspenders were just darling on him. hehe) But like all things with him, there was a catch!


White Socks!


He sat down in the car to drive me to work and the sun reflected off of his ankles. Two little bright ankles that were almost too much to look at. I said, "oh no baby you forgot to put on black socks." (Not that it matters, considering he's wearing brown shoes with a black suit. Oh the fashion sense!) His reply, "I didn't forget, I hate black socks!" And from there it was a 5 minute rant on black socks and how he'll never wear them. "If I ever do get a job where i'm forced to wear black socks, I'll wear them till my probabtionary period is over and then I'll throw them in the trash."


I don't know what the deal with black socks is. Could it be the material? Could the actual color be repulsive to him? Does the die rub off on his feet? Does it discolor his toe-jam?


These are the mysteries of Hubby. I may never understand... "Hubby Logic"


Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Day off??!!
My "blog" totally did not ask ME, if it were alright, if it decided to take a "break" for the day.


My Husband tried to kill me again...
My husband made meatloaf while I was gone. I have no idea what he put in it, but I'm thinking strychnine or rat poison. Those are only my first guesses though. More guesses will require more time and thought. I may not have that though. If I don't blog in the next few days, my dear internet friends, alert the authorities. My hubby did it. Check the dishes in the sink for poisons.


It's been wonderful talking with all of you. I'm going to pray to the porcelain gods now.


Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Elevator's and their personalities.
While at Sandestin Resort we discovered that there was a lady that lived inside of the elevator. Everytime you got to your floor, she told you. "Lobby.....First Floor......Third Floor..." It was REALLY annoying after a few trips up and down.


The point to that....I just went to pathology, which happens to be on the "third floor." (that's what floor our room was on at the resort) As the elevator neared the "third floor" I felt myself mouthing the words in the most obnoxious, high pitched voice possible, "THIRD FLOOR!"


LOL. The things our subconciouses learn.


Well...I'm back.
I'm back!


It was fun. It was different. This is going to be a long week though. I got no weekend!! Friday and Saturday we were in classes. Granted I was in Florida, and I'm not complaining too much, but I'm going to be with my coworkers for two weeks straight. I like my coworkers, but they're not exactly who I'd choose to be living with for two straight weeks. :) BUT... enough of the whining.


I HAVE STORIES!


I wasn't able to post while we were away because internet use at this "private," hoity-toity, expensive resort was 10$ a day!! Now, that's not that bad, but I refused to pay that on principle. It's wireless time people. I mean, come on... The hotels here in the hood offer wireless hi speed. LOL...The Sandestin TOTALLY needs to come into the here and now!!


I journaled every night though so I wouldn't forget one little thing about the trip. Most of it, my journaling, is quite incoherent though. Seems I fell into a few bottles and couldn't crawl out. ;) hehe...But I think everyone at the Sandestin does that. It really seemed like the thing to do. So...periodically, I'll throw in an adventure story! lol...But for now...I'm afraid, I have to remove the pile of work from my desk. Oh MY.............


Thursday, April 20, 2006
Let the adventure begin...
It's TIME! It's time to go! I hope this is fun. At least it's outside. :) Yea 80 degree weather....and five days of rain. heh.... Can you said "HUMID!" ? lol...It's all good...



5 Things I Learned While Packing:


1. I'm a girl and as such can not pack lightly. (Even for a low maintenance girl like me...I still gotta have shampoo, soap, lotion, razor, toothbrush, hair stuff, contact stuff, medicine stuff, etc etc etc....


2. This will be the first time Hubby and I have slept apart since we were married. (And I don't like it.)


3. I'm addicted to electronics. I have an entire bag for "equipment." It's not a small bag either. It's like an extremely large bookbag full of wires and gadgets and computers, OH MY!


4. I'm in "vacation mode." Don't know when it happened, but I began the whole, "everybody use the bathroom before we go" crap.


5. I didn't bring a bathing suit. (On purpose, it's too early and I'm still too pasty. (paste EEEEEEEE) :)

So, everyone have a good thursday. I'm going to ride in a car for 6+ hours with my coworkers. haha. OH MY!
:)


Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Meme #2
Accepting the fact that I have allergies.
Buying books for my trip.
Calling my husband to come pick me up.
Dreading spending 5 days with my coworkers.
Eating popcorn. (100 calorie mini bags...very good!)
Figuring out how to waste the rest of the day. ;)
Grumbling about having to go home and pack and do laundry.
Hating that my stomach is hurting.
Imagining about being outside.
Jonesing to be outside.
Killing Darryl's dog to be outside.
Licking the salt off my fingers. ;) (dont' tell)
Making conversation with my co-worker.
Noticing that my left foot is asleep.
Offering popcorn to my coworker.
Pondering not speaking to my coworker ever again.
Quitting my job. (j/k)
Realizing that I have to work for money to buy a new laptop, ipod, car, house, and pay for dog.
Sitting on my butt, in my chair, in front of my computer.
Trying to imagine myself lying on a beach, skinny, with a tan. (delusions)
Understanding that may never happen.
Vowing to behave on this trip.
Wondering if I will be able to behave.
Xalting that I'll get to sit near the water and read a book.
Yelling internally that I should have already been gone, I have stuff to do!!
Zapping my monitor with static electricity.


Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love you...
So the journey begins tomorrow. The journey to Sandestin, Florida.


5 nights and 4 days with my two coworkers.


Hmmm.... Can I say "no comment" and have you, the intelligent internet reader, read into this post how incredibly excited I am about this fact.


Really. I'm totally serious.


Kinda.


OK, Not really.


BUT... Hopefully it will be fun. I can't help but imagine the stories that come out of this are going to be good. LOL.


(Use the "moviephone" guy's voice)
3 Women, 1 Truck, and Unlimited Fun
The heart breaking story of three women setting out on a journey across the south in search of themselves, knowledge, and a really good martini. Join them in their pursuit of mediocre happiness and a comfortable bed. Coming soon!

Addition: Our Hotel


Tuesday, April 18, 2006
SO MUCH TO DO!!
I'm leaving Thursday for a week in Florida. I have to go down to SanDestin for our State Meeting of Cancer Registrars. I'm excited but I have so much to do!!


Who will feed my husband?
Who will do the laundry?
Who will walk the dog?
Who will .... oh yea...it's a week, not a lifetime.


hmmm...deep breaths. All I really need is to pack, iron, do laundry, vacuum, cook for the week, and find some brown sandals.

EEK!


*Must work and not think about sandy beaches and sunshine.*


Monday, April 17, 2006
Oh NO!
I know that I live in the 7th layer of Hell, but it's April. April 17th. For crying out loud. APRIL!!!! It is 6:45 and 90 degrees F. 90. Yes I said 90. We're going to DIE!!! this year. I am afriad. I like spring. Where the hell is my spring??!!! 90???!!! I got my first mosquito bites yesterday. That's right. It's on my knee. MY KNEE!! How the hell is there any blood in my knee cap??Do you know how bad it hurts to scratch your knee cap??!!! UHG! Something must be done...


Me me me me...Oppps...Meme Meme Meme
HAH, I've been tagged. To do a meme... I've already done. But I feel bad telling this person that (which I guess I just did) because they said they'd feel bad if said person they sent the meme to had already done it.


Our Mad House, here is a different (and hopefully more interesting) 6 things!


1. I HATE celery! It's disqusting. The texture, the smell, oh my god it's the worst.


2. I bought fake tan stuff this weekend and I'm scared to use it. I don't want to turn orange before I go to Florida. I'm too cheap to actually go to a tanning bed though...and there's that whole skin cancer thing. But imagine, Me... the pastiest girl on earth...ORANGE. I like to get back to my Tennessee roots every now and then, but me actually turning orange is a bit far.


3. I've lost my laptop. Eeekkk! I seriously can't remember what I did with it. How you loose something that big I don't know.


4. My car is white, but right now, it's yellow. There's so much pollen in the air here my car is actually a light shade of brilliant yellow.


5. I kinda like it when my dog licks my toes.

(j/k, I was making sure you were still reading.) I can't whistle.


6. My husband and I use our dog to meet other couples... and it works. We made friends with our neighbors last night. Should I feel bad for using a dog? It's nothing personal. :/


And there you have it. My NEW 6 things. I think i'm supposed to tag people now. I tag...I don't think anyone I tagged would do it. What's the ediquette on this? Oh screw it!
I tag:
1.
A Life Less Normal
2.
Anne Glamour
3.
Chesapeake Greens
4. Ok, I'll add more later. :/


Yard work, egg dying, and laundry...
I had a great Easter holiday. Fun Filled, Action Packed, Not So Much Relaxing...


Friday night my husband and I raided the "going out of business" Office Max, which is always fun. They didn't have much stuff left, but I had the intense need to buy every piece of what they did have left because of the 75% off sticker price. HEH! We did get photo paper though. That was fairly reasonably priced.


Saturday we worked in the yard pretty much the entire morning...I now have lillies, impatients, yarrow, snapdragons, wild flower seed mix in some hanging baskets, and an angel trumpet vine tree. We put in a sprinker type system saturday night too. So, it's quite possible that I might not kill them. :) After that we went to lunch with my parents and came back to the house and did more gardening and walked the dog. I enjoy our little dog walks. It cuts down on the serious biting Coal likes to attempt to do. She's ALL puppy right now. I don't know if Hubby and I will survive. After that I proposed that Hubby and I invite all of our friends over to grill out maybe, have some beer, and dye eggs due to the Easter holiday. I figured that would be neat, fun, and different. Turns out that our "friends" were evidentally to manly and too mature to take part in that plan, so just the girls showed up. We dyed eggs and had a good time. Pictures will soon be added. (As soon as I figure out how. ;) hehe)



Sunday was family day, I guess. I don't think it was intended to be, but it was. We went to Sunday dinner, I mean, Easter dinner (which is actually lunch). Then hubby and I had to go home and take a nap. Ugh!! (No, we didn't eat that much...just tired from so much yard work.) Next we had to go get pictures taken for Hubby's sister's class project. (She's a photographer.) So we did that and it was fun. VERY FUNNY! It's amazing how sisters and brothers interact sometimes. (Hubby has three sisters, two of which are twins.)


And finially...Last night...

Hubby and I worked on the pile of all piles of laundry. It was at least 4ft high. I just know it. TWO HOURS we folded and did dishes. AND I STILL have sheets in the drier. I am a horrible housewife. Just horrible. There needs to be a housewife school. Then I could go and learn how to be a proper housewife. HAH...I don't think so! I work! I'll hire a maid! That's their job! They are GOOD at it. I am not. (I'm actually okie dokie at it. Just been sick with ALABAMA ALLERGIES. That should so be a catagory, ALABAMA ALLERGIES. Like hayfever, or goldenrod season. ALABAMA ALLERGIES. It's like strep, only, without a cure. )


Friday, April 14, 2006
Fun Friday! = Six Things
Miss Zoot tagged me (Well, not me in particular, but I like to think I'm that important.) to list six things about myself I have not talked about before on this site.



1. I don't wear shorts in public much at all. I was born with my knees facing slightly outward and they were supposed to turn in as I got older. They did. My legs are weird though. My knees still don't match up with the bottom of my legs. I'm very selfconcious about it for no reason.


2. I'm blind as a bat. I wear contacts because it's supposed to slow the progression of my horrible eyesight getting worse. I could see fine one day when I was 8, next day, blind as a bat. I keep regular eye appointments (every year, unless more spots appear suddenly, "floaters") with specialists. It's the only "dr's" appointment I've kept up with in my life. I'm late on my appointment this year because the last eye doctor I went to told me I had "eye dandruff."


3. I'm a collector. I collect everything. Dishes, kick knacks, pillows, anything black and red, dolphins, grape stuff, books, blankets...and I always have. (barbies, troll dolls, purple iris stuff, stamps, M.C. Esher calendars)
I also obsessively clean and cull my stuff every few weeks. Except for the dolphins, grapes, and the dishes. The dolphins remain, but the dishes go in plastic containers in the garage until I get a bigger house with an actual china cabinet.


4. I'm not religious but I love Christmas. I like the decorations. I love the Christmas lights and the evergreen wreaths and the candy canes and nut crackers and Santa clauses and And AND!!


5. I've seemed to stay in touch with the majority of my high school friends, but I can't seem to hang on to very many friends I made in college. I don't know why that is. Seems like it would have been the other way around.


6. And finally...I have a "thing" for people with blue eyes and brown hair. It's an obsession really. My husband has blue eyes and brown hair. My dog is black with a blue eye. (I accept minor variations.)




Thursday, April 13, 2006
OHHHHh SNAP!
My coworker just shot me with a rubber band. IT HURT!
I was just sitting here minding my own business, working away, when this thing shoots past my head and hits my arm.
WTH?
lol....
Granted, it wasn't her fault. But man! It hurt!

I seriously think it was on purpose. She has it out for me. I just know it!

;)

WOUNDED! Can I go home? (With pay?)


Multitasking! The New Attention Getter!
My dog...
Coal has developed the bad habit of biting my butt.
Yes...
I said my dog IS NOT ALLOWED to bite my butt.
Obediance school can NOT come fast enough!
(And yes... I do have teeth marks.)

My job...
I left my house at 5:45 this morning.
5:45!
At work by 6:30.
Yea me! I didn't oversleep!!

My life...
It's Easter this weekend. Gees...time flies.
What does Easter mean to me?
Packing!
HAH! Going home? Not hardly. Going to FL ... for work. lol...

Priorities! Priorities! Priorities!


Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Vow of Silence...
I, Paige, do hereby take a vow of silence.
I swear to keep my big fat mouth shut no matter how bad I would like spew the longest string of curse words you've ever heard directly at your big fat head.
I swear to let you have your way in any circumstance.
I swear to obey all common laws of decency.
I swear to be kind and nod and smile in your general direction everytime you hurl an insult in that passive aggressive tone.
I swear to swear under my breath.
I swear!
I swear!

Paige, of Paige's Deep Thoughts


Tuesday, April 11, 2006
The never ending cold...
I'm dying. Literally drowning in mucus. At first I thought it was allergies, then I thought it was the dog, then I thought I was actually sick....And Now! ... Now I think I just want to lie down on my couch and die and screw where it came from or what it is.

Sick Sucks!

You, oh dear internet reader say, "Paige where did your witty and insightful posts go?" And to that I say I am incapable of being creative and witty on antihistamines. I'll be creative and witty again when I can breathe through my nose for an extended period of time.


Monday, April 10, 2006
I hope I don't get fired.
Conversation held over email at work after I sent my coworker/Boss a Blingo invitation:

Boss: "Have you won yet?"

Me: "Nope, but I haven't searched for anythign yet either. It only enters you in your top ten searches for the day.....so it says let it come naturally. Nothing has come naturally to me to search for though.

I guess doing my job is not inspiring. :/ "


I hope I'm not the only one who thinks that's humorous.


COAL VS. BOTTLE

Coal found that her toy, "Ducky", is no where near as fun as chewing on a water bottle left over from yard work day. :/ Go figure!

Note: The red thing in pieces in the bottom right corner...that's my new vase that has already been broken. Coal "attacked" the vase not 5 seconds after running at full speed into the house. :/ I was not happy, 10$ down the drain (it was cheap and pretty), but I'm going to try and super glue it. :/



Friday, April 07, 2006
EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

WE'RE BEING BLOWN AWAY!!
(hehe)


I guess it wasn't all talk!


Hi, My Name is___and I have/am ___
My name is Paige and today, I have a problem with salt intake.

I eat pretzels for breakfast (along with 6oz yogurt and a container of fruit) and now.....now....NOW.....

I'm licking the salt from the inside of the bag because I ate all the pretzels.

I NEVER do that!

It's sooooooo good though. I HATE salt....and it's sooooooooooooo good.

And now I have to stop, because it's horrible for you!

UHG.....


Thursday, April 06, 2006
Tie your laces!

This proves to keep me busy for untold amounts of time!


Fun times to come...
Well, today is thursday, which means tomorrow is friday and the weekend. AGAIN! I'm looking forward to the weekend of course, it just seems like time goes so fast. The days, the weeks, the months. So fast. I'm hoping this weekend was as much fun as last weekend. I entered a poker tournament last Saturday night and I WON!! That's right folks. Me. Little ole female me WON! I was one of two girls playing. The guys were not happy with me. They were nice though. A very good time was had by all. Hopefully we'll be able to do that again soon.

Oh! Wait! We are. :) This saturday there is a charity poker event held at a local golf course. My husband entered me. Evidentally entering one poker tournament (with 18 people) and winning justifies me entering a larger event (25 people). Who knows. Hopefully it will be fun and entertaining and if it's not... it's still for a charity and that's fantastic. :)

Last night we started working on the yard. I'll try and get a picture tonight to show the progression. I planted a snowball bush, a redbud, some seeds, built a hanging basket, put down some dirt, weeded, and some yellow tree like bush thing that I can't remember the name of. Should be nice soon. I've got my pots out to plant something in and seeds ready to go along with some lillies and impatients (gotta get rid of some grass first though). We're going to extend our flower bed, which is actually just a shrub bed right now. I like flowers though. That seems to be the plan for this weekend though, if it doesn't rain. Put down more dirt, mow, plant, pot flowers. :) Should be fun. Then after that it's haircut time. YEA US. My husband and I are looking a little shaggy.


Well my little internet readers, what are your plans for the weekend? Doing anything interesting or boring? Boring sounds nice too. Nothing wrong with frozen dinners, box wine, and a tv. :)


Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Haircut time!

This is the best picture I could find of my hair to date. It's medium, shoulder length dark hair which is curly but not tight curls.

:) I just scheduled a haircut for Saturday. How should I cut it?

Leave me pictures or links. :)

I need help!!



Time Change Blues...

As I reluctantly joined the land of the living this morning...very reluctantly...I was being saranaded by my very annoying loving husband.
This morning's rendition included tracks such as:
"Wake up, wake up, wake up, It's the first of the month."
"Paigie is pantsless, Paigie is pantsless, Paigie is p-p-p-p-pants-less."
Followed by the remix, "Paige in pants!, Paige in pants!"
Along with many, many more butchard titles.
These are the tracks that are guarenteed to get a very annoyed wife out of bed, dressed, and in the car in record time.

That's all I have to say on that until the IV drip of coffee is hooked up to my arm.
I've already had a diet coke and obviously that's not doing it.

Hope everyone has an AWESOME day with tunes stuck in their heads. ;)
That's right, I'm EVIL!
"Wake up, Wake up, Wake up, It's the first of the month!"
HAH!


Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Sexy?
100 UN sexiest Men
Courtesy The Phoenix:
1. Gilbert Gottfried: Rumor has it that Gilbert is the heir apparent to Uncle Milty when it comes to what he's packing, but that still can't save him. The parrot-voiced, pickled-face comic is to sexy what Kryptonite is to Superman.
2. Randy Johnson: If he couldn't throw a ball 100 miles per hour, Johnson would be wearing a wife beater and getting hauled into a squad car on Cops. Could you imagine the nights when he pitched to Otis Nixon?
3. Roger Ebert: Yes, he lost all that weight. Yes, you still wouldn't fuck him.
4. Dr. Phil: Being a know-it-all is never sexy. Being a know-it-all who is also a bald-headed prick is downright horrid.
5. Alan Colmes: Not really fair, since he's got to sit next to brown shirt-stud Hannity each night. But Colmes - lazy eye, unkept hair, droopy features - has a face made for radio. Pirate radio. Garr!!
6. Chad Kroeger: It's not just the massive head, weird face, and bad hair. It's also the fact that he's in Nickelback, the worst band since the dawn of music.
7. Mike Mills: You'd want to talk music with the bassist from REM. Sleep with? Not unless you're trying to get to Pete Buck.
8. Osama Bin Laden: Power is sexy (notice how Dick Cheney isn't on the list). But a 6'5", no-vertical-leap mass murdering douche bag is not getting any style points.
9. Jay Leno: "It would be like having sex with a banana, but not in a good way," was what one of our staffers remarked about the fruit-headed comic.
10. Don Imus: "It would be like having sex with an old leather bag, but not in a good way," was what the same staffer remarked about the bag of skin and bones.
11. Michael Jackson: What happens when an ugly JC Penny manequin has sex with Pogo, the clown identity of serial killer John Wayne Gacy.
12. Wallace Shawn: Even if you're attracted to his rounded dome, how can anyone get past that nasally lisp?
13. Mike D. of the Beastie Boys: We hate to do this. But the sickly looking Beastie "did it like this, did it like that, did it with a wiffle ball bat . . . because no one would want to get within three feet of him naked.
14. Richard Simmons: Words don't do it justice.
15. Jon Lovitz: Bald, annoying, unfunny, and hair in the all the wrong places. For all we know, he was running through the cast of League of Their Own. But we doubt it.
16. Carrot Top: Sheer obnoxiousness necessitates his placement on this list.
17. Jerry Seinfeld: This is for everyone who has ever yelled at the TV when Jerry brought home another model on Seinfeld.
18. Malcolm Gladwell: The Tipping Point.
19. Chevy Chase: He got unfunny with age. Then he got ugly.
20. Raffi: Maybe it's his proffession. But no one surveyed, man or woman, could think of any situation in which they would bed down with him.
21. Ron Howard: He was cute as Opie, passable as Richie, but now as Ron Howard, he's just plain weird-looking. Especially with a beard.
22. Clint Howard: Ron's younger, balder, and weirder-looking brother. Yes, weirder looking than Ron Howard.
23. Bill Gates: To quote Dana Carvey: "Gates apparently made a deal with the devil – 'You can have $60 billion, but you have to go through life looking like a turtle.'"
24. Paul Shaffer: The bic'd look does not work for everyone, plus he makes all those crazy faces while he plays.
25. Axl Rose: I mean . . . did you see the 2003 VMAs?
26. Tim Burton: He's got the Robert Smith hair coupled with a mighty hunch. Yet he's dating Helena Bonham Carter.
27. Edward James Olmos: Remember season one of South Park? When Kenny was a zombie, everyone assumed it was an Edward James Olmos costume. Wonder why.
28. Gerard Way (from My Chemical Romance): Luckiest dude since Ringo. Or at the very least, since D12.
29. Don Zimmer: The gerbil's got a massive, ivory-white noggin' that never did much thinking to begin with. Ask any Red Sox fan over 35.
30. Tony Kornheiser: Yes, calling sportswriters unattractive is like shooting fish in a barrel. But come on, he looks like your uncle.
31. Chris Kattan
32. Otis Nixon
33. Julian Tavarez
34. Christopher Lloyd
35. Willie McGee
36. Pat Cummings
3 7. Scottie Pippen
38. Larry David
39. Michael Moore
40. Al Franken: Too arrogant
41. Paris Latsis: Maybe not the worst-looking guy in the world, but, well, think about who was there first.
42. Rush Limbaugh: No doubt he will claim his placement on this list as a result of a media bias and not the fact that he's just butt-ugly
43. David Gest
44. Garey Busey: Those teeth would give anyone nightmares.
45. Nick Nolte: Busey's oddball partner in crime, but at least he had a career once.
46. Leif Garrett
47. Andy Dick: It's a trap!
48. Scott Stapp
49. Lyle Lovett
50. Ric Ocasek: Yes, we know who his wife is. And no, we don't care.
51. Bill Wyman
52. Danny DeVito
53. Peter Jackson
54. Drew Carey
55. Newt Gingrich
56. Rob Schneider
57. Ed O'Neil: We love ya, Ed, but sorry. There was a reason you never waited on any really hot girls at that shoe store.
58. Bill O'Reilly
59. Clay Aiken: This feels like a cheap shot, but even leaving aside the rumors about his personal life, he still looks like someone's bratty little brother.
60. Joe Lieberman
61. Jim Gaffigan: Pasty, goofy-looking comedians abound on this list.
62. Bill Maher: . . . Especially ones with poodle hair.
63. John Popper
64. Dennis Miller
65. John Madden: Those massive hands seem more frightening than anything. Boom!
66. Robert Englund: Seriously, try lying in bed next to him without thinking about Freddy Krueger.
67. Robert Patrick: Seriously, try lying in bed next to him without thinking about the T-1000
68. John Ashcroft
69. Joe Gannascolli
70. Kevin James: His TV marriage to Leah Remini on King of Queens is less believable than anything on Lost.
71. George Steinbrenner: Come on, we live in Boston, you knew it was coming.
72. Grady Little: Come on, we live in Boston, you knew it was coming.
73. Harvey Pekar
74. DJ Qualls: What's he weigh, like, 70 pounds? How much of that is grease?
75. Joey Buttafuoco
76. Garry Shandling
77. Meat Loaf Aday
78. Joe Walsh
79. Tom from Myspace: What, you gotta be everyone's friend? Isn't that a little needy? Not hot at all.
80. Art Garfunkel
81. Brian Posehn
82. Howie Mandel
83. Barry Bonds – If what his mistress told the authors of Game of Shadows is true, then no, you don't want any part of that
84. Dick Vitale – Call it a hunch, but we have a feeling that sex with Dickie V. would be anything but "awesome, baby."
85. Richie "La Bamba" Rosenberg
86. Jeff Van Gundy
87. Jimmy Johnson: It's the hair
88. John Clayton: How is this ESPN's top football guy?
89. Don Vito: I suppose we were never really supposed to know what Bam Margera's uncle looks like, but since we do, he has to be included.
90. Lemmy Kilmister: Sadly, the ravages of time have not been kind to him.
91. Hideki Matsui
91. Jose Canseco: "Every time I have tried to help a woman, I've been incarcerated," he famously said on The Surreal Life. You old charmer, you.
92. Bill Parcells: Especially when you see the photos of him in shorts at training camp
93. Ric Flair: To be the man – WOO! – you got to . . . do something about those man boobs!
94. Ralph Nader
95. Dennis Kucinich: Something about those progressives.
96. Horatio Sanz: Laughing at your own jokes is not sexy
97. Dom DeLuise
98. Emeril Lagasse
99. Kevin Federline: Mooching hicks aren't so hot these days.
100.Brad Pitt: He may look good, but if the rumors about his hygiene and BO issues are true, then he's probably not worth it.


Monday, April 03, 2006
Daydreaming of $$$...
I had a fantastic weekend. It was awesome! I'll explain more on that later, but as for right now...I want to talk about this:

I want this!
I don't even want it because I like it.
I dont' like it.
I want it because everyone else has one and I want to be cool.
Childish?
Probably, but I don't care.
I want it! I want it! I want it!




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